Big waves and Mexican cookies
Going limp in the unimaginable power of life
Kai Lenny is one of the world’s greatest surfers. He’s one of the big wave surfers on a show I love called 100-foot Wave. On the show, a gathering of surfers from France, England, California, Hawaii, and Portugal ride their surfboards 55-60 miles an hour down cliffs of water 60-80 feet high off the coast of Navarre, Portugal. The waves were considered unrideable until only a few years ago when an older pro surfer with little going for him decided to try. What emerged from that solo expedition became the show's topic; a community alive to surfing at its most extreme.
The waves that Kai and the others surf on the show are otherworldly. Nazare waves are created by an underwater canyon six times deeper than the Grand Canyon. If conditions are right, waves can reach nearly 100 feet. They don’t paddle out to these waves; they’re pulled into them on their boards with jet skis.
I can hear you: Oh, I don’t care about surfing. The show is only partially about surfing. It’s about people and relationships at the edge of nature’s immense power. And the layers of observations in such a majestic space have profound value and utility even if you never surf.
Kai is a magnetic personality on the show with a beautifully effusive respect for the ocean and a talent for surfing that’s nearly unmatched, even among the best on the show. While some survive the waves, Kai does flips on them. If we can see his words being about more than surfing, his perspective throws the door open on life’s challenges.
On a recent episode of the Rich Roll podcast, Kai shared what it’s like wiping out on Navarre waves.
“Wiping out on a wave you have to do the exact opposite of what you feel like doing. Most of the time you wipe out, you know, there’s an urge to want to claw and scratch to the surface like “I need to get out of here,” but you’re going up against an unimaginable powerful force that you can’t battle until it lets you go.”
Essentially his advice boils down to “go limp.” He adds it’s incredible how flexible you get when your muscles aren’t firing. When you’re trying to fight, the wave’s power is when you get hurt.
Going Limp
How does “going limp” in a struggle sound to you?
I’m afraid the only way to matter for the worth challenged is to impose our will. The greater the challenge, the more we fire our muscles and fight. The people that matter in life do that, right? The achievers, the overcomers, the type A’s. You want to count, don’t you? We think the only way to conquer life is to overcome all challenges. And overcoming the biggest ones is the fastest route to worth. (See the movie Rudy)
Kai’s words invite a different view of things. It’s not resigning ourselves to things we can overcome but admitting that, at the moment, some things are too powerful to overcome. Therefore, resisting them will only add to our suffering.
We need to accept the conditions and not see our worth as less for it. Moreover, there’s a chance we can do good for ourselves or others while we’re in the acceptance. We needn’t feel pressure to produce meaning but instead realize the view in our resigning to the challenge can have value, and often it’s great!
In one of the episodes, Kai wanted to give the viewer a sense of riding a big Nazare wave, so he was holding a GoPro camera. Even though he is one of the greatest surfers in the world, he wiped out (read that again). He was in the intense swirl and draw of the crash zone of the waves. It’s a thick froth of foam. So, he pivoted his goal to filming what it’s like to be in the massive churn where the waves deposit crashed surfers. He held the camera high and thought, “I’m here anyway; why not do something that has value.” It was one of my favorite sequences in the whole show. You can feel the palpable rush of adrenaline, fear, and excitement as he tries to flag down a rescue jet ski while experiencing the world’s most powerful waves crashing on his head. He’d disappear in the most violent washing machine. With his inflatable float vest deployed, he’d bob to the surface to have the most incredible view of the next massive curl approaching. It was incredible.
Ok, Rob, I’ll never surf in Nazare or, frankly, surf anywhere. I don’t feel like what I do is that consequential. That’s fair. HBO won’t be doing a documentary on me, either. Let me put this in real terms, maybe too real.
I recently had a bout with some stomach issues, and it took a toll. I was trying to sort it all out and come out on top in some way too. Long story short, I had to try a gluten-free diet. Oof. To put it mildly, I was in a churn. Nowhere near a Nazare level but definite tumult. Every meal was a crossroads of new decision-making. I was frustrated, hating much of the food, mad at the price of it all, and feeling like I must not be that put together if I was struggling like this. But then something came into my life.
I was surveying the snacks in the weird aisle at the grocery store (apologies to the dairy-free, gluten-free vegans of the world, but aisle four is the weird aisle.) And I saw a bag of tiny chocolate cookies. Desperate for any joy in my diet, I grabbed them. These cookies are now my favorite cookies ever. They’re chocolate but nuanced with cinnamon and some jasmine tea extract. I don’t care if I can eventually go back to a gluten diet; I’m taking these with me.
I was here anyway, looked around, and resigned myself to what I couldn’t fix. Lo and behold, I found something delightful. Our application of the big wave tactics needn’t be intense or earth-shattering; frankly, much of life isn’t.
I’m not saying anything super profound, but hopefully, a good reminder that your worth isn’t in never wiping out or always winning when you do. It’s ok to be human; go limp in the “unimaginable powerful force that you can’t battle until it lets you go.” Know you’re still worthy in it.
Be well, Feral Souls.